September: Chicago and Yellowstone Sketchbook

I decided to take a sketchbook away with me again this year, to try and get back into drawing again. It has been a long time since I've drawn on location, and it's taken me some space and time to enjoy it again. This sketchbook ended up being half empty, but looking at it now several months after the trip, I find it much more peaceful, and pleasing, to look at. As you can tell, I didn't end up drawing very much in Chicago... I think I have gotten sick of drawing the city, skyscrapers and structures, preferring to take photographs instead.

From Chicago, I flew to Salt Lake City to meet my parents, and start a two week drive through Grand Teton, Yellowstone, and Mt Ranier National Park. Somehow in that two weeks, we managed to experience four seasons, heat, heavy rain, snow, the lot. I'm not sure if I really reflected that much, but I enjoyed drawing trees and mountains, and just getting my hand used to moving to depict what I'm seeing again. I brought materials with me, but I ended up also using found materials; at the time, Yellowstone was experiencing one of its annual moving forest fires, and we passed by a spot where the fire had burned through. The experience of walking through the forest was just awe-inspiring, and at that point I had to pick up some charcoal to try and draw what was around me.

In hindsight, I wish I had brought bolder and more colourful materials so that I could make more graphic images. My favourite page ended up being of a dam in Grand Teton, using a paint pen that exploded. It ended up giving an energy that I really enjoy making and seeing in my work, so maybe it means next time I need to use even more wet materials.

From what I remember, I didn't enjoy the experience of facing drawing again, but I think that it was worth breaking that anxiety now rather than later. I want to learn to love drawing again, so I think I will need to carry on challenging myself in this way to overcome it properly. It was freeing to know that it wasn't going to get judged by anyone, it wasn't going to receive a 'Satisfactory'. Let's see what happens this year on my next trip.

Freiburg Sketchbook

Another fairly long hiatus from me, as I've actually been away for about three weeks visiting home, visiting Germany (quickly becoming kind of home from home), and working. Rosa and I decided that in those three weeks we would have a wee break from filming, which part 1 is now finished... just part two left! We have all fingers and toes crossed!

But I decided I would take a small sketchbook to Freiburg, a small city in the South West bordering Switzerland and France. It was refreshingly green, mountainous and cool, and I would love to go back again. There is a quiet serenity in Germany that just calms me, and I just feel like I need it somewhere in my future. The pressures of third year have admittedly got to me, and I guess I'm just not suited to the lifestyle. I find it so much more satisfying to feel like I'm making work for myself, and for an audience that isn't looking at me as a set of qualifications and tick boxes, and more for experiences, enthusiasm and loves.

For this sketchbook, I decided to only bring colours. I have found that I automatically go for black and grey when I'm panicking, and I love colour so I should be using it more. Looking back on it, I feel like the work is expressive, free and... very me. This is the kind of work I want to be making from now on. I eventually gave this to Jonas' godmother, who we were staying with. I figured that I ought to share my work, and not be too precious. I need to throw things away, paint over the top of work and move forward. Each section of a different surface is a small concertina; I had meant to be fully flowing, but it made an interesting sketchbook in the end.

Another apology for the lack of posts, but I'm sure they'll come rolling in soon. We have plenty of deadlines this month, so plenty of work to share!

Kingston University: POP Project, finalised

We had our crit a few weeks ago, and I was extremely relieved to finish this project. Before New York I had planned to print about 100 something prints for a final piece for this project, but alas the beaver press broke right on cue. But actually, it helped me take a step back and see what I actually wanted to do with these prints that I had.

I decided than with the consecutive prints, they really ought to be displayed in a book. I had thought of various things, but I really didn't want to use anything more than wood, newsprint and ink. It really had to be minimal.

We were to submit everything including our research with it a single sentence to describe the project. I decided to print 'end' on the front the go with the ideas within end grains of the wood. 

'The celebration and mourning of a tree deemed too weak to use for furniture and product.'

Overall, I really enjoyed this project, but I think that it was flawed in that it needed a final product. Really I think the important part WAS the process, and meant to be a project that could be continued throughout our careers. I will definitely return to this project but...I think I'll give wood a bit of a rest for now.

New York Sketchbook.

And yet another New York sketchbook!

It was really great to go back for a second time in such a short space of time, I feel really blessed to have the opportunity. I felt like it was a good way to experiment with the way I work, and make it look and feel really different. For a start, I decided not to focus too much on drawing in the first place. This time it was winter, so I think the bitter cold would have stopped anyone just because it would make our hands go blue ( honestly not a cop out, I got windburn THROUGH my trousers...). So I only really drew in two different places.

Hannah and I have been to New York before, so we went up The Rockerfeller with Rosa and spent a good four hours up there drawing. We went in the afternoon and so we luckily caught New York in three states; daylight, twilight and night time. I had so much fun drawing with them, and I don't think I've enjoyed location drawing that much in a long time.

To update you all, things have been looking up so far this term, and I'm so glad that I didn't leave the course this or last year. I really urge anyone who is going to or at university to see it through as much as you can. Obviously, university isn't for everybody, but it is also as much what you make of it as what they offer you at university. So far, I've been really enjoying these projects and I have been able to fulfil my wants and needs more than perhaps the briefs I've been given. But then I feel like I've been progressing which is, of course, the most important aspect.

Kingston University: Location Drawing, Royal Festival Hall

We're having more sessions of location drawing with George Butler, this time to Southbank, primarily the Royal Festival Hall. Sort of a little disappointing location choice, seeing as I've spent so much time there, but it turned out to be quite relaxing in the end. I came out with a few drawings that I liked, and was surprised which ones were liked most.

I like my drawings of buildings and the chairs best, but George liked the weird abstract one that I did when I got bored of drawing babies... I still think it's pretty rubbish, but hey, George is in The Guardian.

P.S. I am so so SO sorry for the horrendous state of these scans, but flickr was driving me up the wall, and what with iPhoto and Preview going crazy... I just gave up. It's late and nearly the weekend, so many apologies.

Munich and Friedrichshafen Sketchbook.

An excursion to Southern Germany was the part of this summer where I could have some real real downtime, and it was certainly needed. I brought a sketchbook with me, admittedly a thin one, but all the same. However, Jonas and I did get through a whole 5 or 6 films collectively, so as soon as those get developed they'll be here for sharing (and also on my photography Tumblr)!

The beginning of the holiday, I was getting so frustrated with my drawings and how they turned out, and I've realised that it's really not worth it at all. If it works it works, if it doesn't it doesn't. The most important thing is that I still keep going, and somewhere in the clutch there'll be a gem.

If you ever get the chance to visit Bodensee, hell do it. It was truly peaceful, beautiful and so much fun. Also a huge, eternal thank you to Jonas for taking me to Germany, I love you. Awww, so mushy.

Hong Kong Sketchbook.

Back to the Reportage! I've just been away for two weeks back to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and Hong Kong. I took the chance to revisit these places in illustrations, and also in film photography.

From the previous post, and maybe I've spoken to you personally about it, but I've been finding it difficult to sort of find my turf . I think the realisation that this is my entire life and there are ways that I'm supposed to go about it just went way over me, and it's taken a while to come to terms with it. I somehow just need to not freak out. Most likely, my mark for this year will be okay (I got a 2:1 in the end - major relief), I'll just keep doing what I like doing, because I'm good at it. And work will always have more love put in if you actually like doing it at the time, and it feels instinctual to you.

On that mantra, I decided against this year's project of drawing every day, and instead just drawing when I mean to draw. The thought of rushing a shit drawing at the last minute EVERY day is just exhausting. So I've decided on concentrating on the two trips over this summer, to Hong Kong, and then later to Germany. I'm off to Munich and Freidrichafen with Jonas! At first I wasn't sure whether I was not doing it because I wanted to be rebellious for feeling fucked over, or because I was just genuinely unrelaxed and uncomfortable, and just needed the break. I'm not sure what the project deems to prove, but I think that my idea of what I would do over the summer anyway would show I am committed to myself and what I want to do in life. Isn't that what University is about? Learning and discovering just what you want to do, experimenting and having fun?!

So yeah, I'll stop ranting, I'm sure most of you have heard it from me previously.

I took a really limited amount of materials with me, purely because I needed it all to fit in a tote. It's been fun to use colour again, and that is something that makes me excited, but then again, I liked using my ink pens this trip. It's not my best sketchbook, and certainly not the most detailed, but we didn't have the time or energy to stick around for me to draw, and it's one of those places that in the heat and chaos of the city...it's difficult. No excuses though, it could have been way better. But then that's why the photography worked, and I like the combination of the two together.

Also, a hugely important thing to mention, thankyou to everybody who has been there to support me in real life, and online. It means so so much to hear that you're enjoying watching my journey and well... to keep going.  I'm genuinely surprised as to how many times old friends and familiar faces that I don't see often tell me 'hey, I really like your blog!' and it means the world. I've found when it's hard to believe in yourself, there is nothing better than a friend to talk you out of it and have a beer in the sun with. Positivity! Don't listen to the cynics kids, you can be anything you want to be. Love you all! xxx