I'm sorry for the fairly sizeable hiatus, somehow blogging just got lost in an abyss of work and it's been difficult to keep up. I will most definitely continue over the summer, I feel like it's a huge part of keeping me sane.
The academic year has now finished, and so I think it would be a pretty good way to come back by reflecting on these past months in a new city and a new environment. It's certainly had it's ups and downs, but overall it has been a pretty life-changing experience, and I have met so many talented and enthusiastic people. I think that although the second term has been much, much more stressful, I think that what has come out of it has been incredibly important.
I haven't shown much of my work from term two, but I do really want to talk about my Final Major Project, which was done together with Hannah and Ani. We decided for our project to start a collective and organise a drawing event called The Magic Pencil. Watch our film on Youtube here. We started a collective called Radish, which we hope to continue doing events and exhibitions to help us move forward. We met a lot of practitioners and spoke to a lot of people in our research, which I think helped to settle what we were feeling about ourselves.
I think many people will find that going to University has been tough to get into the swing of. It is finally feeling like a teeny tiny fish in a sea, which has it's pros and cons. I will happily admit that this year hasn't been the best for me work-wise, but I feel like I have learnt a lot about myself and what I could do. But it does have it's knock on confidence, and I will say that I've never felt more lost in terms of who I want to be, what I want to do, compared to what I could/should do. A lot of people above me in age have said 'just enjoy yourself' which is all very true, and I should, but also I think it's important to feel like you're challenging yourself, setting yourself goals, and doing all the hard stuff now before we leave. I think for me, what is very evident right now is that I love what I'm doing for myself, but it's sometimes hard to apply to the work that you don't feel inspired by, or to ideas and suggestions that tutors are giving you. The most important thing I have learnt is that I have to trust myself and my instinct, but it's extremely important to say you have to listen. You cannot justify your actions if you haven't thought things through. Living like this is all these contradictions, but if you're reading this and going to University next year here's my advice: Enjoy yourself. Work hard, play hard. Choose good friends who are driven and lively. Do everything you love, because you can, and because you'll care about it. Listen, but also to yourself. Damn it, CARE about things, I am so sick and tired of meeting students that don't give a shit, and just want to laze about and do nothing. If you don't care, then you're not fighting for it. It definitely ain't an easy ride.
I didn't have the best end of year tutorial this year, and right now all I'm focusing on is making myself happy and content for myself. But this year, my achievements have come through the things that I care about, and they might not have been specific pieces of work, but that's not to say I haven't given 500% on everything. I am disappointed in myself in that I haven't shown my tutors what I can do, but I'm working on it... I guess I'm disappointed that I haven't shown myself I can do it too.
BUT I'm making up for it over the summer. I have a lot of things to show you.
We'll talk soon.
